Day 265
Saturday August 4th 2012
Winchester High Street 1.Opposite Oxfam, Time: 2:12-3:42pm, 2. Opposite Bellis, Time: 4:08-6:30pm
A fairly peaceful and uneventful hour and a half followed by a break then back on up the other end, which starts peacefully enough until around the middle of La Vie En Rose, when I hear the familiar holler of Maurice, walking stick waving about, getting nearer and louder every second – ‘LA, LA LA LA LA LA, LAAAA!’ until he’s in front of me. ‘HA HA! How are you, MY BOY!’ I forgot to write down in a recent entry that at the end of a day’s busking, down at Maison Blanc, he was shouting to, or rather AT me, from across the road, ‘GO HOME! HAVEN’T YOU GOT A HOME TO GO TO?!’ This was while I was concentrating on playing something and it really put me off my stride. In fact, a woman came up afterwards and said, ‘Don’t listen to him! I like you!’ So I’m not very well-disposed towards him at the moment. In fact, I promised myself to make clear my displeasure the next time I saw him.
So I start off ignoring him, which annoys him straight away. ‘Why are you ignoring me? Don’t ignore ME!’ Not ignoring him anymore, I explain why I WAS ignoring him. He seems surprised and then quite hurt. ‘Oh, you know ME! I’m ALWAYS shouting. Were you REALLY offended?’ ‘Yeah, I was! I work my butt off out here and you come around, shouting at me to go home!’ ‘Oh…well I offer my apologies…will you accept them?’ ‘I don’t know, I’ll think about it.’ ‘Well, you think on.’ I say I WILL ‘think on’ and anyway, how is he? ‘Well, I’ve been living with a SHE-CAT for the past three days, you know, and she knows how to get round me, OH YES SHE DOES!’ ‘A cat? You’ve got a cat?’ ‘NO! A WOMAN!’ ‘Oh right!’ ‘A SHE-CAT! Oh yes! And she knows what to do, alright, she’ll get me hard up,’ I interrupt, ‘Hard up?’ ‘Hard up! Oh yes, BOTH ways! She’s used up a whole month’s credit on my phone, in three days! So I’m going to do something about it. I’m going to put a stop to it. Oh yes! – and I told her and she said, “well what am I going to do if I want to phone someone?” and I said “BUY YOUR OWN PHONE!” Oh, but she knows how to get me going, oh, she does!’ Here, Maurice does a thrusting movement with his hips. I’m intrigued, and say, ‘Oh! Have you, you know?’ ‘SEX? OH NO! And I won’t, you know!’ He goes and sits next to two women on the bench across the way, and sings along to Yellow Bird at the top of his voice, but it’s too high for him – ‘YEEEAAA – LOW BIRRR! – that’s too HIGH!’
Then he says something to one of the women and she gets up and leaves. A few minutes later, he comes back over and I ask him what he said. ‘Oh yes, well I said to her, “I suppose you’re the mother, are you?” and you know, I think they were SISTERS! So I thought, “you’ve done it again, you’re in the shit again” HA HA! Oh dear!’ I start Jesu, Joy Of Man’s Desiring and Maurice hollers along until the bit where I improvise a bit, when he trails off and looks down at me, very disapprovingly. He then says he’s going over to the O2 shop across from us, to get a lock put on his phone. I start James Bond and can hear him, shouting to the young shop bloke who is holding the door open for him.
Ten minutes later, the door opens, Maurice emerges, still shouting, pointing his stick at me and staying in the doorway, shouting at the young guy who’s again holding the door open. He eventually comes over, holding his phone, shouting about a code. He comes across, goes into the bakery behind me, shouting…comes out minutes later and stands in front of me. He does a little dance with one hand on his stomach, the other hand raised up, and does a few turns. One of the young men working in the bakery comes out to watch and laugh, and shouts ‘YEAH, SWAY TO THE RHYTHM!’ To which Maurice stops, points his stick at him and shouts, ‘I’LL KICK YOUR ASS!’
Earnings: £40.12