Day 2711
Wednesday July 1st 2026
Winchester
Down at the same spot as yesterday. In fact, I was here this morning because last week I bought some lilies and despite what the woman said, they turned out to be aroma-less. So I came in to complain – there was a different woman there today – and apparently I was given Asiatic lilies, which have a shiny/waxy appearance and are odourless. Anyway, the woman kindly let me have a bunch of white lilies which will definitely have a nice aroma, so she says!
Now, it’s Dave who’s here and he’s packing up – all the flowers have gone and there’s only a couple of metal trays about, but it’s only 3 o’clock – ‘You’re packing up early, Dave.’
‘Yeah, it’s the football and at five, it’ll be deserted.’ ‘Right…well, I better get started.’
Coinage is slow, really slow…Posh Sarah comes by with Hermione and her little dog behind her – ‘How are you Marvin, you alright?’
‘Yeah, I’m OK Sarah.’
‘Really? You OK, are you?’
‘Yeah, really Sarah. How are you? Always nice to see you again.’
‘Fine, well you take care.’ She blows me a kiss and Hermione says ‘She’s beautiful AND intelligent!’
‘Yes Hermione, she is!’
Well, after more than an hour and a half, the coinage is appalling – there’s no more than a fiver in there! Oh well, I’m determined to do the full two hours. Discipline and all that.
There’s fifteen minutes to go and my captive audience is a shirtless bloke on the bench opposite – well, he’s got a shirt, an England one on his lap. He’s also got a can of beer but it’s definitely not his first! He gesticulates with his arms a lot, closes his eyes, stands up, wobbles about, screws his shirt up, sits down, unravels the shirt, shouts the odd ‘Thank you!’ to me and he does all this and repeats it, not necessarily in that order. He’s one of those classic “happy drunks”. He then comes over to me and i’m thinking “Oh, here we go” but what does he do? He hands me a bloody £20 note! ‘Oh, thank you…are you sure? That’s a lot of money.’ He says something unintelligible and holds out his hand. Now, I don’t like taking the hand of a drunk bloke but he’s just saved the day so I offer him my own hand – ‘Thank you, thank you!’ he says, then stumbles back to the bench, picks up his green rucksack from the bench and puts it next to the bin at the side of the bench. He looks at me, then the rucksack then back at me, pointing at the rucksack. He’s asking me to keep an eye on it as he goes to a shop…
…ten minutes later he hasn’t returned and I’m thinking “what am I supposed to do if he doesn’t come back. I’m not hanging round here because there’s a few undesirables congealing on the block to my right – it’s getting to that time of the day. Anyway, he does come back and sits down while I do the last two songs and shouts ‘One more!’ as I’m putting the guitar away. Sorry but no, because if I do one more, it’ll be ‘One more!’ again, I bet you and I’m getting out of here. ‘Hey…thank you! Thank you, thank you!’ he shouts. ‘Well, thank YOU for your donation. Thank you!’
‘Thank you, thank you, thank you. You play beautifully, thank you!’
‘Thank you, I appreciate it, You take care.’
‘Thank you, thank you, thank you!’
‘Thank you!’ I say again. What is this, a “thank you” contest?
‘No, thank YOU, thank you, thank you, you play beautifully, thank you, thank you, thank you!’
‘Thank you’ I say and that’s the last one from me.
‘Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you…THANK YOU!’
Well, thank YOU mate, because you made my day because the total amount was £27.11, which is weird because it’s Day 2711.
Finally, at five o’clock the place is very far from being deserted. So clearly not everyone’s into football. I mean, I’M not…for a kick off!