Day 2469

Diary Of A Busker Day 2469 Sunday December 15th 2024 Winchester.

 

Another day of almost tropical temperature, as it’s 10%. Amazingly, there’s no one at the top spot so I quickly set up. But what’s this? After half an hour, some middle-aged to elderly people with blue fleeces start gathering behind me on the monument steps and the frightening thing is their fleeces bear the word Saxophony. Well, I suppose it had to happen, it being Christmas and all. I need to find out what’s going on so after a song I stop and ask if they want to play and yes they do – in front of the tree, but not until 1 o’clock which means I’ve got another 20 minutes which isn’t too bad, as that will make the total here to 50 minutes – fine in this weather. The trouble is, although they won’t start PLAYING until 1, they start tuning up fifteen minutes before and I’m occasionally obliterated by them because they’re so fucking loud and they’re all playing any random notes because that’s what stupid orchestras do. The next time we cross paths I’ll ask them to tune up in A. 

So, pack up and round to The Square…but there’s another orchestra and they’re all dressed as Christmas characters. I go up to the tall bloke at the end on the right – he’s dressed as Frosty the Snowman – and ask how long they’ll be, and it seems they’re playing from 1 to 3, too. Right, I’m not hanging about for two hours, I’m going home for some warmth and grub.

 

Back in town, Saxophony are gone but I fancy a different place so I go to The Square. It’s gone five past three and that lot are still playing and there’s the young juggler with the unicycle standing in front of the museum and yes, he’s waiting to take over. I say he should have a word with Frosty, as he definitely said they’d be done by now. Anyway, I better get back to the Buttercross…and would you believe it, in the time it’s taken me to go to The Square, have a very brief chat with the juggler and return back to the Buttercross, a fucking 30 piece band has set up in front of the fucking tree! Fuck this, I go back to The Square, moan a bit to the juggler, say again that he should have a word with Frosty because they’re still playing, then get on the bike and bomb down the road…Meeta’s at her usual place so that’s out…down the arse end and amongst the food stalls is the only place, so it has to be there. I haven’t been here in ages and I don’t want to be here now but beggars, etc… 

I’d just set up when that bloke who runs the Gospel Hall comes out – ‘Um, we’ve got carol service at quarter past four.’ Right, I’ve got an hour, then. Fine, I don’t want to be here longer than that. It went better than I thought – I even got a tenner. After half an hour or so, loads of people, mainly old, started arriving – they obviously wanted to get a good seat for the carol service bollocks and they must have had enough of me by 4:15 because I could turn around and see them sitting down in the hall and they weren’t far away. In fact, at 4:10 the inside door slammed! I stopped at exactly 4:15 – the bloke came out, clearly to tell me to pack up but – I deliberately ignored him (I crouched down, attending to my stuff) and he went back in, having not spoken a word. 

Back up the road at The Square, Frosty and the rest had buggered off so I set up – there was no wind down the arse end (haha!) so my hands were OK so I set up. After a few minutes, the son and heir plus his girlfriend and her sister and her husband turned up and sat outside The Old Vine and listened to me, not that they had much choice in the matter: the pub was full. The son and heir bought me a pint of Guinness, which I sipped through the set. I debuted something I never thought I’d ever play – Last Christmas by Wham! The reason? There were two programs about George Michael on the telly last night – in fact, one was just about that one song and the video. Anyway, I couldn’t get it out of my stupid head so I worked it out and it’s just four chords, which are D, B minor, E minor and A, repeated, and that’s it, the whole way through. So I worked out the melody, which I have to admit is very good, practised it a bit and that was it. I swear I will never learn any other Wham! songs and I might never play that one again but I thought “fuck it”, millions of people know it, I’ve spent an hour on it and I’m going to play it. Musical prostitution. 

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